Reclaiming Fatherhood

"SAN FRANCISCO (CNS) -- While the impact of abortion on men is low on the cultural radar, there is overwhelming research, clinical experience and anecdotal evidence that men can be profoundly traumatized by the elective loss of a child whether they encouraged it, resisted it or only learned of it after the fact."
          Catholic News Service, December 4.

This quotation is the lead paragraph in a story that ran under the headline, "International conference examines impact of abortion on men." Coincidentally [or not], the same day the student newspaper at Notre Dame University ran "Abortion and Gender," an op-ed that dealt with many issues, but particularly (a) how often men are browbeaten into silence, and (b) how our popular stereotypes regarding the respective attitudes of women and men about abortion have the situation backwards. We will talk about the latter tomorrow.

We've written about the San Francisco conference "Reclaiming Fatherhood: A Multifaceted Examination of Men Dealing With Abortion," which is going on as I write this edition of TN&V. (See, for example, www.nrlc.org/news_and_Views/September07/nv092607.html)

The conference is organized by the National Office of Post-Abortion Reconciliation and Healing, and co-sponsored by the Archdiocese of San Francisco and the national office of the Knights of Columbus. They are to be commended for going boldly into territory where almost all men fear to tread: their role in abortion.

Opening up the discussion to include men--which, besides the father, ought also to include grandfathers, uncles, and brothers--is like trying to pry a bank vault open with a pocketknife. Conferences such as this one further increase the odds that we can begin to seriously rethink a life-and-death decision that carries enormous consequences for all of us.

Reading the CNS story I understand why pro-abortionists are so resistant to allowing a monologue to become a dialogue. One reason is obvious: the more voices are heard the greater is the chance that a woman contemplating an abortion will be counseled not to take her child's life. PPFA, the largest abortion "provider," doesn't want to hear this.

But there is another reason that men have to face up to squarely-- no excuses allowed. Several of the men who spoke had each impregnated a number of women, all of whom aborted. The men candidly admitted that at the time, they felt little or no pain or guilt.

For pro-abortionists, this is the ultimate "aha!" moment. If these men didn't care then, why listen to them after the fact? If men so cavalierly get women pregnant and, "at best," pay for the abortion, why isn't that just more proof that women must be free to make the decision unilaterally?

Part of the answer is that like so many women who abort, tragically, it is not until after the child's death that the grim reality of what has taken place hits home with men. We should extend to men the same sympathetic ear we offer women.

Moreover with the ghastly loss of 1.3 million babies a year--approaching 50 million since 1973--it is long, long past the time to parcel out blame. If we are ever to staunch the hemorrhaging, women and men and their families must work together to find answers that respond to the better angels of their nature.

We will provide full coverage of "Reclaiming Fatherhood: A Multifaceted Examination of Men Dealing With Abortion" in our special January Commemorative issue of National Right to Life News. You can order copies of this much-anticipated edition by going to www.nrlc.org/news/Jan222008Ad.html.

Please send any comments to Dave Andrusko at daveandrusko@hotmail.com.