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NRL News
Perinatal hospices support
families with dignity and love Pregnancy centers and post-abortion counseling programs were created by pro-lifers to meet the needs of mothers contemplating an abortion or suffering from post-abortion aftermath. The last few years have witnessed a new outpouring of love and support for expectant families who find that their unborn child has been diagnosed to have a fatal condition. They are hospices for babies. Perinatal hospice programs are springing up around the country to assist those whose unborn child will die at birth or within hours. They are the life-affirming alternative to “early induction.” Tracy Haugen’s own son was diagnosed with a serious heart condition. Despite early indications that her son’s heart condition was inoperable, an ultrasound in the 30th week of her pregnancy gave them hope that lifesaving heart surgery was possible. His heart was operated on five days after birth, but sadly he passed away a short time later. She now serves others in similar situations. “Many women, even those who consider themselves pro-life, will consider the option of an ‘early induction’ when faced with an adverse/life threatening diagnosis for their unborn baby,” she said. She described one of the complex reasons for this is that “early induction” is offered as the compassionate option, equating it to removing a terminally ill baby from life support (the child’s mother) and therefore different than abortion. In other cases, women cannot imagine walking out the remainder of a pregnancy that will only end in certain loss. To the unknowing world, the pregnancy will appear “normal.” The thought of being confronted daily with “typical” questions from well-meaning strangers can seem unbearable. In addition many also feel pressure from those around them to end the life of a “less than perfect” baby, or have fears that the baby will live with a severe handicap. Tepeyac Family Center, a pro-life medical practice in Fairfax, Virginia, operates the Kristen Anderson Perinatal Hospice Program. Its web site reveals its attitude: “Some think that we can control death by terminating the pregnancy, the aborting of the life is an attempt to eliminate the suffering. We have found that the exact opposite to be true. The suffering remains.” Thus, in cooperation with Capital Hospice, the center provides a multidisciplinary approach to coordinate and communicate the needs of the family in the medical, spiritual, and emotional setting. Another such program, Lavender Tree, is operated through CareNet Pregnancy and Family Services/Pierce County (Washington). Formed in 2005, its goal is to make a life-affirming option available to every family in perinatal crisis within their community. Family Peer Companion Coordinator Annette Gildemann explained her organization’s philosophy. “Lavender Tree was not formed as a reaction to abortion, rather it was created proactively to support and encourage women in a devastatingly difficult situation,” she said. “It is a cogent, compassionate response to reach out to others and help them through a circumstance we ourselves had experienced.” Gildemann added, “Offering families a comprehensive program of support assures them they will not be abandoned on their journey, but that they will be cared for in a sensitive and responsive way during the process of pregnancy, labor, birth and bereavement.” Such a “palliative approach of care affirms the life of the child and also offers a haven in which the parents can make the painful decisions that must be made on how best to care for their unborn child in a safe and supportive environment,” she concluded. “In this way each person involved can complete the bittersweet journey with dignity and love.” Gildemann knows of what she speaks. Her fourth child, Nathaniel, was stillborn at 37 weeks gestation due to a genetic anomaly known as Trisomy 18, diagnosed midway through her pregnancy. Gildemann used her own pregnancy experience to support Julie Ellis (who is now Lavender Tree’s resource coordinator) and Ellis’ daughter Mandi. Mandi’s son Nolan was prenatally diagnosed with a condition called renal agenesis (he had no kidneys). The seeds of Lavender Tree’s ministry were planted in those shared experiences. Both Gildemann and Ellis felt compelled to reach out with empathy and encouragement to other women facing a similar dilemma. Gildemann and Ellis teamed up with Haugen, now the Circle of Care coordinator, who relied on the support of key people after her unborn son was diagnosed with a fatal heart defect. Lavender Tree companions offer the perspective of one who can understand these feelings as much as anyone can. At the heart of the organization is the understanding, from personal experience, that families in the midst of perinatal crisis need companionship, resources, and community support. These are the three areas addressed by their perinatal hospice program. By taking a palliative and spiritual approach, rather than a strictly medical one, they have developed a one-on-one system of support. A woman who has experienced an adverse pregnancy diagnosis and carried her baby to term, and has also come to a place of emotional healing and spiritual maturity, is paired with clients who are currently going through a similar situation in their own lives. “When a family receives an adverse diagnosis for their unborn baby, the grief and pain ripples outward to their extended family, friends and church community,” explained Haugen. “These loved ones very often want to reach in and support the family, but may be unsure how best to do this.” This is where the Circle of Care branch steps in by enabling a family’s community to reach towards the family in appropriate ways. Ellis uses her role primarily to conduct research and build relationships for clients. She described an association forged with TEARS Foundation, a local organization which provides burial expenses for babies that pass away in their first year. They also cooperate with the foundation on several “remembrance walks” for families to honor their children. According to Ellis, “[I] strive to be readily available to provide customized information and referrals requested by the client family at every stage of their journey.” Another example of Lavender Tree’s approach is that they counsel mothers to recognize that the greatest opportunity for creating memories with their unborn child may be during their pregnancy. Ellis quoted from a handbook by Dr. Elizabeth Kirkley Best, who writes, “Mementos are a vehicle for memory and cognitive order in the working out of grief: they are critical. When no photo is available post-partum, an ultrasound image may be the only tangible picture to remember a baby by.” Because of the influence of organizations such as the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, more extensive prenatal testing is a certainty. This necessitates the need for more organizations to affirm the dignity of the unborn child while supporting the emotional needs of her family at the time of diagnosis,before birth. Perinatal hospices temper the bitterness of an adverse prenatal diagnosis with the support and companionship families need to experience the many joys and blessings their babies bring in their short lives. |