"Impossible Motherhood": What the Story of
an "Abortion Addiction" May Tells Us
Part One of Two
By Dave Andrusko
Part Two
brings you up to date on an important
development in the debate over health care
"reform." Please send comments on Part One
and/or Part Two to
daveandrusko@gmail.com. If you'd like,
follow me at
www.twitter.com/daveha.
Not wanting to be burned by giving more
credence than it might deserve to a story
that ran yesterday headlined, "Abortion
Addict Confesses 15 Procedures in 16 Years:
Repeat Abortions Baffle Experts, as Author
Irene Vilar Explores Her Impossible
Motherhood," I waited a day to reflect.
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Irene Vilar
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That in and of itself won't allow me or
anyone else to know whether Vilar is making
all this up, or grossly exaggerating, to
sell her forthcoming book, Impossible
Motherhood. After all, all we have to go
on is the abcnews.com story written by Susan
Donaldson James, and a short except from the
book.
But what we encounter is extremely
revealing, on any number of grounds, for
what it seems to tell us about a particular
woman with many, many problems, and the
larger ugly reality of repeat [and repeat
again] abortions.
Accepting what may be Vilar's after-the-fact
spin, James begins by writing, "Irene Vilar
worries that her self-described 'abortion
addiction' will be misunderstood, twisted by
the pro-life movement to deny women the
right to choose." Plus she says she's
worried for her safety, probably because
Vilar senses an "inkling of hatred." Talk
about projection!
Without the book in hand, it's almost
impossible to figure out what Vilar--in the
book or by using her interview with
James--is trying to say or to accomplish.
The official explanation is that "Although
her personal history is unique, Vilar hopes
through her painful memoir to trigger a
public discussion on abortion and what leads
women -- even after the feminist movement --
to use 'procreation as power.'" As we shall
see, in some sense this is more true that
Vilar may realize.
Without going into detail, Vilar's early
life was obviously very traumatic and she
has chosen very poorly in picking out the
men in her life. The relationship with her
first husband, for example, "was riddled
with shame, self-mutilation and several
suicide attempts."
Confronted with a woman who says she's
aborted 15 times, James has to try to figure
out what is peculiar to Vilar herself and
what it says about repeat abortions in
general. We're told that about half of women
who abort have another abortion-- and, more
specifically, 10% of women have three or
more.
"A lot of times the circumstances are
unusual and complicated," said Rachel K.
Jones, a senior research associate who
co-authored a 2006 report from the
pro-abortion Guttmacher Institute. Most of
the women having repeat abortions are over
30, say they are using contraception, but
who may be "'perceived as having difficulty
practicing contraception' or are using
abortion as a method of family planning,
according to the report." Adds Jones,
"There's always a lot more going on than
someone who does not want to use
contraception."
Even though there are many reassurances in
the story that abortion is safe, various
experts admit that multiple abortions
decrease the chances of carrying a child to
term. But I would think even the
hardest-core pro-abortionist might pause
when they read about the psychological
ramifications.
The official party line is that mental
health problems are "not a direct result" of
choosing to have one abortion," according to
James, quoting from a report from the
American Psychological Association. (We'll
just let that go, for now.) "But the 2008
report did note that many 'confounding
factors might indicate mental problems' in
women who have repeat abortions."
Indeed. There are more than a few
suggestions in the story that multiple
abortions is a kind of "self-mutilation," a
way of "escaping feeling empty," as Dr.
Lauren Streicher, clinical assistant
professor at the Northwestern University
School of Medicine described it. James
writes, "Vilar's pregnancies became
compulsively self-destructive: After her 9th
and 10th abortions, she 'needed another
self-injury to get the high.'"
Vilar, a literary agent and editor, has a
series of explanations for "poor choices": a
"hypersexualized society"; the example of
some sort of Hollywood "motherhood fetish"
at the same time "women are repeatedly told
that they must be everything but mothers,
everything but someone weighed down by
motherhood"; a certain "recklessness"; or
the aforementioned women, "even after the
feminist movement," using 'procreation as
power.'"
It was when I put together the various
rationalizations that the amazing irony
which permeates the story hit me. After all
this Vilar, who has found contentment in a
new marriage and the birth of two children,
seems annoyed most of all that taking care
of children is devalued.
"In school and on TV, every message I get is
what I am doing as a mother or wife is
wrong," said Vilar. "I should be thinking
about a profession and not mothering.
Everyone is having babies, and yet they
don't want to care for them."
I never saw that one coming.
Part Two |