Each year, approximately four million babies are born in the United States. Government sources say about 3% of those children, or about 120,000, will be born with some sort of disability. Many of these are operable or treatable, but some involve conditions for which there is currently no effective medical treatment or have generally been found to be incompatible with extended life.

Testing for such anomalies is now offered to pregnant women as a matter of course. The reaction of the medical establishment, as well as many in the society at large, to a serious prenatal diagnosis, however, has often been to urge parents to abort a child that might be born with a disability, whether the condition is thought to be incompatible with life or not. Those families receiving a grimmer prognosis may face enormous pressure to abort.

What can a concerned pro-lifer say to young parents who have just been told that an ultrasound shows their baby's brain isn't developing? How can a pregnant mom stare down a medical establishment that doesn't want to help her give birth to her child with a disability? What sort of practical assistance and encouragement will help a family with a diagnosis of Down syndrome feel more confident in managing their situation?

There's a new book that will not only help those dealing with a serious prenatal diagnosis but will also enable those who want to support others who choose life in challenging circumstances. Madeline P. Nugent's My Child, My Gift: A Positive Response to a Serious Prenatal Diagnosis is a wonderful, positive, practical guide to those facing such a diagnosis in a culture that does not always welcome the weak, the sick, or the different.

Nugent's sensitivity and gentleness are evident on each page. They are things our abortion-saturated society desperately needs to relearn.

The book is filled with practical advice and information. But the bulk of it is first-hand accounts of parents who have lived through, and experienced the blessing of, the birth of a child with a disability.

Positive but not Pollyannaish, Nugent admits that many of those children with the most severe disabilities will die soon after birth. Countering prevailing social and medical trends, though, Nugent argues and offers evidence that aborting the child--not allowing the pregnancy to progress to conclude naturally--often only brings further damage to the family and its relationships.

One mother told Nugent she regretted the decision to abort every day.

Why didn't anyone tell me that I would carry around this guilt and sorrow? Why wasn't I informed that my "choice" would cost me so much emotionally and physically? Why didn't anyone remind me that a sick baby needs her mother to care for her and love her?

Other parents who resisted pressure to abort found even a few moments with their child precious.

Although I knew my son was dying, I had never been happier in my whole life because he was the greatest gift I had ever received. I would do it all over again just for those wonderful thirty-six hours we had with Tanner.

Nugent takes a family carefully, gently, through the grueling process they will face. It begins with "Finding Out," where, in Chapter One, Nugent recreates the circumstances under which a family first receives the news. "When you receive a serious prenatal diagnosis," Nugent candidly informs, "you are overcome with anger, confusion, disbelief, denial, or grief."

Throughout the next four chapters Nugent offers panoply of loving advice and ways of caring for children with serious anomalies, even adding a discussion of how to tell other family members.

The toughest chapter is the sixth, "Birth and Death Plans," dealing with the arrival of a child with what Nugent terms a "fatal diagnosis." Gently, Nugent advises mom and dad, that from the moment of the diagnosis forward "Your time with your baby is very limited. The time to love and nurture your baby is now."

For those with children who do survive, Nugent offers Chapter 7, "If Your Child Lives." To gain some long-term perspective, Nugent suggests parents keep a diary that candidly includes both problems and progress. In the process they will have a record of how different crises were weathered. Attitude is key here, says Nugent. "If you decide to be positive, you will be. If you want to wallow in self-pity, you will."

"Into the Future with a Child Who Survives," the eighth chapter, offers a continuation of Nugent's practical advice to parents of children with disabilities.

"Your child will change you," Nugent tells parents in the final chapter, "The Gift of Your Child." One mother of a child with Down syndrome tells Nugent that "The greatest surprise is this: Our life together has been less about my helping him reach his potential than about him helping me reach mine." 

Nugent says, "Your child was never given to you for you alone. Your child has a mission in life--to make the world a better place because he or she was in it. Your mission is to see that it happens."

You can order this wonderful resource at www.mychildmygift.com. A single copy is $14.95 with $6 for shipping and handling.