May 20, 2010

Good evening. Part Two explores another fascinating pro-abortion take on Sarah Palin. Please also take a few minutes to read "National Right to Life News Today" (www.nationalrighttolifenews.org). If you like join all those who are now following me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/daveha.

By Dave Andrusko

As one of the staff who does a lot of writing, often materials that are sent to NRLC for perusal will cross my desk. One arrived a couple of days ago, although I didn't get a chance to read it until this morning.

It was posed ostensibly as a question--as in "what do you have to say to this devastating critique of every goofy, hair-brain pro-life argument made since the time of Christ?" The writer, of course, was not looking for a genuine give-and-take, but rather was venting his hostility and preening over his own wit and wisdom.

I'm sure you've met your fair share of people in real life who just can't wait to tear your argument (but hopefully, not you) apart. I'd be interested in how you've handled them. (Send your thoughts to daveandrusko@gmail.com)

In my own experience, a fair amount of the time I try not to respond at all. Why/when? When it's clear there is nothing I could possibly say that would not make them even madder.

A variation is when/if I gauge that the individual is not just using the occasion to let loose a volcanic eruption of anger. I just politely listen, every so often offering a response--usually when it's clear they are very much expecting one. Occasionally, at some level, they may actually want (sort of) my opinion.

Doesn't mean it'll necessarily move them in my direction, but at least they'll know I am respectfully listening. An experience which happened to me very recently illustrates a third situation and another way of responding.

This individual was in a class I lead, and of the 35+people who attend, she was one of my favorites. Funny, witty, and very sharp.

One day she wasn't there. Then another time. As I always do when people miss, I dropped her a quick email. She emailed me back that she'd just found out "what I do." If emails could shake, this one would have knocked my PC off the desk. She was furious. Couldn't come back, end of story.

But it wasn't the end of the story. We had talked about her mother whose Alzheimer's was growing steadily worse. As much as she did not want to, she had concluded it would soon be time to find an assisted living facility with multiple care levels so that they could help her Mom as the Alzheimer's grew worse.

As I thought what to do in response to the blistering email, I remembered what I had promised her--and had completely forgotten: to help establish an Alzheimer's support group. Over the next five weeks I did just that. I suggested to the man who is in charge that he contact the former member of my class (without mentioning me) to let her know that hope was not just on its way, it had arrived.

I do not know if she has taken advantage of the opportunity--I hope so-- but it was my way of not taking offense and trying to do what was best for her and her Mom and her family, regardless of how angry she was with me.

Of course I don't know the background. There may be an abortion--or abortions--in her family, or she may just believe no one can "tell" a woman "what to do" in this situation. Or any of a dozen other reasons, including one which may have posed a real threat: that I was not the monster she "knew" pro-lifers had to be.

I'm hoping that our paths cross again. I would very much like to know how her Mom is doing. And I would like her to know that I still care about her.

Part Two