From the
NRLC President -- Part Two
Part 1
Editor's note. I have to periodically remind myself that not
everyone who reads TN&V subscribes to National Right to Life News.
Thus they wouldn't see this outstanding column, written by NRLC
President Wanda Franz, Ph.D, that appears in the February edition of
NRL News now on its way to 377,000 readers.
Once you read Dr. Franz's column, you will know why I wanted to
share it with everyone. (By the way you can quickly subscribe to NRL
News by calling 202-626-8828.)
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A PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE
When I was ready to begin a family in 1969, I hadn't thought much
about abortion. I was working on my master's degree in developmental
psychology. Therefore, I had some basic information about human
development and reproduction.
I went to see the doctor because I was pretty certain that I was
pregnant. In addition, I was coming down with some kind of cold; so
I also wanted to know what kinds of medication I could and could not
take during the pregnancy. However, what happened at the doctor's
office was a complete shock. He informed me that I was in the
process of losing my baby.
At that moment, I felt an enormous sense of loss. I hadn't realized
that I was already so attached to a baby whose presence had never
really been confirmed. I was surprised that I already had an image
of the child I had been carrying. He was a boy, blond with blue
eyes, very intelligent and with a warm and sunny disposition. I was
grieving, but not for an abstract loss. I was grieving for a very
specific person--my baby--a particular creation of God's own
handiwork. He had all the specific features and characteristics
given him by God. God knew him. God doesn't just create embryos. He
creates persons, who go through stages of development, including the
earliest one, as an embryo. The amazing thing was that I knew him,
too. I knew him as a person with specific traits and characteristics
and I was mourning that unique person.
The doctor collected the tissue that was coming out of my womb and
sent me home. The tissue turned out to be highly infected. There was
no embryonic tissue, but it was assumed that I had already lost my
child without being aware of it. He ruled out an ectopic pregnancy,
prescribed antibiotics, and told me to wait until after my next
period before trying to get pregnant again.
From these events I learned much about women's experience of
pregnancy. The feeling of attachment to the unborn child is
powerful. Research has confirmed that women are attached to the
unborn child, but it is important to realize that the attachment is
not "small" because the child is still small. Mothers seem to have,
at some level, an awareness of the full personhood of the child in
their womb. Women, who have had an abortion or miscarriage, can
almost always tell you the sex of their child. Hence, I have no
difficulty at all understanding that women who have aborted a child
have emotional problems afterwards. The pain of the loss is
terrible; but they must also endure the pain of knowing that they
are responsible for the loss.
When the doctor told me to wait a few weeks before trying to get
pregnant again, I was devastated. I desperately wanted to get
pregnant immediately. It seemed to me that this was the only way to
somehow make up for the loss--to fill the loss with something else.
Many women who have had abortions talk about this need to replace
the lost child. Of course, a second child never replaces the
individual person who was lost. He is unique and can never be
replaced. However, the so-called "replacement" baby can help to fill
up the broken places in the mother's heart. This baby is
"wanted"--less for himself than to provide comfort to the mother.
Research into child abuse has taught us that when parents have
children in order to meet their personal needs, it is much harder
for them to be successful parents.
When I thought I was pregnant again after my miscarriage, I made an
appointment to see my doctor, once again, to have the pregnancy
confirmed. This time, what happened shocked us both. I was indeed
pregnant, but with the first pregnancy. I was so far along that it
was clear that I had never miscarried in the first place. It had all
been a mistake. I was thrilled, but the doctor was not so happy. He
was afraid about the condition of my baby. If I should have had the
miscarriage because of a massive intra-uterine infection--as the
doctor believed--but I didn't actually have the miscarriage, how
would the infection and the medication affect the development of the
baby? He didn't say it, but I knew from my own training that the
damage occurring at that time would most likely be to his developing
brain. The doctor was afraid my baby was brain damaged.
I had all the normal fears and concerns of parents who suspect brain
damage in their unborn child. It is a most painful situation to be
in. Parents are very susceptible to horror stories about problems
that might come with a disabled child. The biggest fear is that you
may fail as a parent because of the extra stresses caused by such
conditions. Parents need a tremendous amount of support when
confronting this situation. I had no support at all, but I also had
fewer problems to contend with. There was no ultrasound or special
testing available to confirm the possibility. It was never a fixed
diagnosis. Of course, abortion was not yet legal, so there was no
pressure from the physicians on me to abort. Fortunately, God has
always been good to me. He let me know that, if my baby were
disabled in some way, I would be given the gifts and strength
necessary to care for him.
After all of these concerns and problems, my baby was born, on
schedule, a perfectly healthy newborn. Even more amazing, he was
exactly the person that I had known him to be after a few short
weeks in the womb. He was blond and blue-eyed, quite intelligent,
and with a great disposition.
Because I was confronted with all of these problems I was forced to
examine my pregnancy more closely, and I learned much from it. I
sympathize much more with women in trauma over an unwanted pregnancy
or the possible birth of a special needs child. I especially
sympathize with the woman who has had an abortion. And I pray that
she be healed by God's grace.
Please send any comments to Dave Andrusko at
dandrusko@nrlc.org
Part 1
