I make no pretenses to knowing a lot about, or delving deeply into, poetry. But I have had a number of pleasant encounters with Billy Collins, the Poet Laureate of the United States from 2001 to 2003. I enjoy dabbling in his highly accessible work.

One of my favorites is titled, "Forgetfulness." Like many of Collins' poems, it begins on a very funny note only to turn profoundly unsettling. It is about the struggle to remember, where, gradually, "as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain, to a little fishing village where there are no phones."

I thought of that1999 poem when a friend reminded me of the upcoming conference (the second in two years) that will investigate the emotionally loaded topic of men grappling with their "abortion experiences." Before I forget, the two-day "Reclaiming Fatherhood: A Multifaceted Examination of Men Dealing with Abortion" conference will take place September 8-9 at Chicago Marriott Oak Brook in Oak Brook, Illinois. (For full details go to www.menandabortion.info.)

My strong suspicion is that many of these men for years voluntarily "forgot" about how they either did not stand behind a woman facing a crisis pregnancy or coerced her into aborting their baby. Indeed, some of the most poignant stories told at the first conference held in San Francisco last November began with guys recalling how the birth of a new baby just hit them upside the head. They saw this new life and were jolted by the sudden memory of another baby--or babies--killed in an abortion to which these men had been an active or passive participant.

Not all men "forget." Many have always remembered, indeed have been tortured by the memory of fighting the decision for death from the very beginning, when the woman first told him she has decided to abort.

Others vividly recall their "abortion experience" for a far different reason. They had "left it up" to the woman (failing to support her as she reached out to him for help), or emotionally blackmailed her ("if you have that kid, I'm gone") into taking their child's life.
According to the web site, the topics include:

• Fatherhood Lost: The Biology of Fatherhood and His Role in an Abortion Decision
• Men and Abortion: A Review of the Research
• Trauma and Abortion: When Men Hollow
• Understanding Male Spiritual Growth and the Process of Healing
• Wounded Fathers: Why Do They Come for Help
• Medicating the Pain of Lost Fatherhood: Looking For Their Pain In All The Wrong Places
• Forgiveness Therapy with Post-Abortion Men
• The Masculine Side of Healing

Don't be put off by the wonkish sounding explanations for the conference. I'm am told by some guys who at the first conference that it really did meet the need of the average guy trying to come to grips with what he has done, or failed to do.

Be sure to go to www.menandabortion.info and read about "Reclaiming Fatherhood." This is a hugely important new front in the battle to save unborn babies.

Part Two -- Share the Message of Life